Tag Archives: John Abbott

Another Dose of Immortality

[watercolor by John Abbott]   Horror Vacui   The true picture of the past flits by. The past can be seized only as an image which flashes up at the instant when it can be recognized and is never seen … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

Can you do math? It’s a yes-or-no question. Give me the courtesy of a straight answer to my simple question. Yes. Try this then. There were three people who checked into a hotel room that cost thirty dollars a night. … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

The menu offers a good range of choices, most of them bearing a family resemblance to the hot beef sandwich with potatoes and gravy I order. It’s plain fare served by thirty- and forty-year-old waitresses in black Levi’s and pink … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

The tragic-heroic trajectory for this story would be (1) obedient child raised by religious parents, (2) mission, (3) education (BYU), (4) marriage (temple), (5) family (in the LDS mold), (6) growing doubts, (7) shock at the death of an errant … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

John, you left the tradition you must have felt held you captive. Did it feel like you were falling into empty space? You were throwing off the structure Mormonism had provided. The Kiwanis, the chiropractor, the Fraternal Order of Eagles, … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

In the afternoon sunshine, John’s death certificate glows bright green on my desk. Never married. Sex: Male. Not a veteran. Autopsy: yes. The sun transforms the books on the north wall into an ordered riot of colors. In a radio … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

“Why can’t I be good?” Lou Reed sings this question in Wim Wenders’s film Far Away, So Close! “Why can’t I act like a man? Why can’t I be good?” Was John good? Am I good? What does good mean? … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

“Are we friends, my brother? ” That question undoes me every time I read it. My fragmentary essay ended with the words: “Merry Christmas, Mom. I love you dearly.” John added sentiments that quicken my heart: “you too my brother!” … Continue reading

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Daily Dose of Immortality

I dream that I’m sitting in Grandma Abbott’s front room with several of my children and John, who lies on a couch reading a book. I explain to Nathan that I am willing to help execute John because the law … Continue reading

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Marriage Equality

The Supreme Court decision today comes almost exactly 24 years after my brother John died of causes related to AIDS. I’ll lift a glass tonight to John and to all the people who have worked over so many years to … Continue reading

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